The Origin Of Species As It Pertains To Gowanus Gary

I don't think Charles Darwin ever imagined the likes of Gowanus Gary when he drummed up his theory of evolution. However, here's the best possible scenario to be considered in depicting Gary's evolutionary chart. You've come a long way, baby. It also proves once again, the more evolved one becomes, the more delicious blueberry pie becomes. Honest. Look it up.

In related news, I just purchased the domain name www.gowanusgary.com for the year. As soon as I figure out the best web hosting service and how to pay for such things, Gowanus Gary shall have his own home away from this here blog.

--B

Stroke of Genius, Stroke of Madness

That Gowanus Gary is a pretty active fella. He's the self-appointed captain of the Gowanus Row Crew, a duty counted among his other daily doings, like loafing about and stamp collecting. With all serious respect, though, there is a volunteer group that sponsors canoe trips in the canal, and other neighboring areas of the Hudson Estuary, in the hopes to educate individuals about Brooklyn waterfront issues, from development to environment. Visit the Gowanus Dredgers Canoe Club site for more information. Just keep all arms and legs in the boat at all times.

--B

At The Swimmin' Hole

Gowanus Gary, proud sponsor and lone member of the Gowanus Swim Club. Come on in, the water's fine. And oily.

--B

Join The Gowanus Goo Crew!

With much apologies to Shepard Fairey for the commandeering of the "Posse" layout, I present to you another tired parody of the sticker. But Gowanus Gary does have a posse, so it's somewhat appropriate. Watch yourselves, cattle rustlers.

--B

Have You Seen Me?

Missing! Gowanus Gary! 7'1", 620 lbs., greenish hue, covered in scales, smells like cake. Last seen sucking the mail out of a Fed Ex drop-off box on Smith Street. Approach with caution, answers to "Belulah" (it's a long story). Cash reward. 718-555-1234.

Personally, if we're talking t-shirt design here, I like the second design, sans white boxes.

--B

Gowanus Gary

Spawned in the crystal clear waters of the fertile Gowanus Canal, Gowanus Gary makes his debut in the area of Brooklyn known as (Shudder. Worse... portmanteau... ever.)... BoCoCa. Ugh. He likes devouring blueberry pie and doing the backstroke, as well as participating in the occasional game of Gin Rummy. And he loves you very much, even if you don't like him that much. That's the kind of hideous, mutated organism he is.

--B

Canadian Back Scratcher

A piece for my nephew Chance, who graduates from the eighth grade today. What says congrats better than one superhero slicing the hell out of another? All the best, pal, and sorry I couldn't be there. Enjoy some comic book gore and those crazy high school girls, too.

--B

Kind Of Okay Comics #018

Well, Rex and I were chillin' out earlier in a "borrowed" Buick Skylark, cruising the 'hood and enjoying the rain. He prefers hopping the curb and utilizing previously untraveled territories by motorcar (i.e., sidewalks) and tends to lean on the horn a lot, which I don't mind because it drowns out his relentless stream of inventive cursing. I had to oblige him and all since he told me it was his birthday and all he wanted was a copilot on his annual celebratory drive. Come to think of it, that's his third birthday this year... Anyway, the legend manages to survive yet another year and got me home relatively safely. If my landlord comes asking, you don't know how that Buick Skylark wound up in the living room of Apt. 1L. Thanks for the newest comic, Rex, and happy birthday... yet again!

--B